Wellness Wednesdays – Self-Esteem Nourishment

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Self Esteem – Weekly Wellness Series – July 25, 2018

In the vast terrain of self-esteem building, there are many topics to explore. This week we are focusing on Victim Thinking.

Victim thinking is when you believe you are at the effect of something. Something is holding a power over you. You view only limited options and feel trapped.

In order to stop thinking like a victim, you first need to start embracing responsibility for yourself.

Practice radical responsibility by understanding you are responsible for everything in your life. If you are with an abusive partner, you do not blame them for being abusive to you, it is your responsibility to take action toward a resolution.

You can play the blame game and remain stagnant in your situation. Or you can make a choice. What can you do today, right now, to improve your situation?

If you are in a state of fear, it is OK. It’s normal and natural. We all experience fear. If you need to take a brave step, remember that it is just a step. You take one step today, and then take another step tomorrow.

Let’s practice. Commit this week to take one brave action step each day until next Wednesday. You only need to be brave for one minute, two minutes; however long it takes for this step you’ve chosen. If it’s a tough conservation, that should only be a few minutes. If it’s a trip to the gym, that should be the 5 minutes it takes to put on your gym clothes and start your car. Take that first step. You only need to be brave for those first few minutes and then you are done. Tomorrow, we take another step.

You don’t have to brave 24 hours a day

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After taking your brave step today, go ahead and celebrate yourself with some self-soothing activity. Take 5 minutes or longer, here are some suggestions:

A rich delicious forward fold or child’s pose

Read an article/story on your favorite subject

Journal

Physical Activity (dance, skip, etc.)

Meditate

Take an Aromatherapy Bath

Self-massage

Self-care  (do your nails, salt scrub for your legs, deep condition your hair)

A cup of herbal tea

Just make sure your self soothe isn’t with alcohol, drugs, shopping or sugar!

 

Reshape your belief system

A belief system is malleable.

 

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We can reshape what we believe – into something that supports and encourages success.

(You also get to define what success is for you. You don’t have to follow others definitions of success.)

We ARE influenced by outside purposes, but we can RESHAPE!

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You have more power than you think.

Oh wait, why would you want to change your beliefs?

Because some of them HOLD YOU BACK.

In Life Coaching, we call them LIMITING BELEIFS. Do you know what your limiting beliefs are? Do you want to find out?

I can help you. Shoot me an email: susanlifecoaching@gmail.com

 

 

 

#NewAge – Not for Me. #ActionOrientedGoals – Much Better

New age bullshit can really screw up the mind. Talk about the constant need and the seeking of knowledge and fulfillment that’s a never-ending cycle of want want want. About this law of attraction thing, well you can’t always get what you want all of the time, life doesn’t work like that. There’s nothing wrong with having a positive attitude and getting into creative visualization, but if you’re worried about how your mind is thinking all the time it can be an added layer of stress. Focusing on doing things that take you out of your mind is what helps me lead a happier life. Continually thinking about your mind and trying to lead all of your thoughts towards a certain way is too much mind maintenance and can drive you up a wall.

If I do the activities that keep me present and shut off the mind, I’m a much happier person and I am not thinking all the time.

The times that I do have quietness and solitude where I’m left to a thinking mind I choose to observe it and see what’s going on in there. There might be issues that I need to focus on. I spent years studying and practicing meditation and now I see meditation as just an observation of the mind. I’m not taking anything in there with me, I’m not taking a chant in, I’m not taking a word in, or an idea, I’m just watching and listening to what’s going on in my mind. An inexperienced meditator might experience fear and terror going into the mind…when things get weird, I get out! Take what you see in there with a grain of salt. We are like receivers, like a TV antenna. Our mind collects and stores all sorts of things, from TV images to things your drunk friend said, whatever. When you jump into a mind, weird stuff is in there, so try not to get too freaked out. I pay attention to the reoccurring thoughts, and then I journal on them out to see why they keep coming up. They may need some attention. That’s it. Nothing crazy, nothing mystical. Now you can have mystical experiences. But they are TEMPORARY. You may or may not have them again. So, I choose not to chase them. Or claim they are fact and real. It’s just a mind trip.

I respect the Buddhist thought of not getting attached to things and from that, this is where I am able to observe the mind with its thoughts and ideas and not get all caught up with it.

However, I’m about to touch on the Middle Road which means I also welcome passion and I am proud to say I am attached to my loved ones and pets.

I can take non-attachment to a certain level, but cannot apply it to all aspects of my life.

I’m so over yoga, but I am all about stretching and keeping my muscles active and strong. And I don’t want to study any deities I’m just sticking to one main God. I do love the story of Jesus and I don’t know how historically true it is but I don’t care because it’s what I grew up with and it’s what I know and I’m okay with that. I believe everyone should have their own belief systems and I wouldn’t want to change anybody’s. Sometimes when you’re all caught up in that new age stuff you try to attach meaning to minutiae. Like…the large crumb of my coffee cake fell on the sidewalk, because the “Universe” is telling me to feed the less fortunate by giving a portion of my meals to the hungry creatures of the world. Or whatever. I know this way of thinking because I lived it. I have to tell you that most of the time it’s a mind game.

A new-ager can coach you into a temporary feeling of magical thinking. A new-ager can also coach you into thinking they have all of the answers for you.

And you keep seeking, and you keep paying. And your bliss is temporary until you need your new age fix. This is like believing all what a psychic tells you. I must say though I have surprised myself with my own psychic ability, I believe we all have a touch of it. But I do not know everything all of the time. I’ll get bits of pieces of “psychic crumbs” and sometimes they are right on, and others, not so much.

In case you’re wondering about my psychic experiences, I’ll give you one. I was able to psychically know the name of a young girl that passed away on the property next door to my new home. The name kept coming to me all day. I also psychically “knew” other information that was completely validated by others. But I CANNOT claim to be psychic all of the time. No way. I chalk most of this up to intuition. And I encourage others to use and develop their own intuition as well.

I steer way clear of ever telling anyone what is going to happen in their future.

I don’t coach people based on New Age Thought. I coach people into Action. You have to be careful out there, in the realm of self-help. Some of these people get so full of themselves and believe they know it all, and rely and “spirit guides” and unstudied and untested concepts.

Be careful out there. And when you are ready to make strides toward your goals, hit me up and we will use some good old-fashioned motivation, and use tried and true methods to reach your goals and beyond.

I don’t give advice in my coaching sessions, but I do in my blog. Here’s my advice: Be an authority on yourself. Don’t blindly follow others with the promises of cures or bliss.

News flash: your answers come from you, no one else.

God Bless

#LifeCoaches kicking ass 24 hours a day. #spiritual #guru #wiseman #wisewoman #humanfirst #spiritualbliss is #temporary

I recently read on Reddit someone asking how a very wise or “spiritual” person could make mistakes or be taken by an addiction. Reading this got my inner voice buzzing and I could not wait to speak on this topic.

I admire people who show their humanness. I played the perfection game for many years, and all perfectionism does is paralyze you into inaction, because you are so afraid to proceed and make a mistake, that you end up not taking any action, or an action that is “safest”.

I praise and I’m proud of the people who are happy with themselves exactly the way they are and show up exactly as themselves. I am not impressed by the people who try to impress others or obtain many degrees, certificates or labels. I’m not knocking education or achievement, but what I am doing is promoting showing up as yourself, not hiding under a label. I want a person to show up as a human with flaws.

When you measure your worth or value by either a societal standard or by the opinions of others you’re cheating yourself. Self-esteem isn’t the measure of outside approval. You measure your own personal success and your own happiness. You choose your goals based on your values and you decide how to measure it.

Wise people still make “mistakes”. (Mistakes are actually opportunities, which is a whole other topic!) Wise people are subject to the same suffering and life situations that we are all subject to, no one is exempt from being human.

There is no such thing as perpetual spiritual bliss. I don’t know if anyone told you but happiness isn’t a permanent feeling, it is just like anger or sadness, they are temporary, they come and go. There are several moments during the day where I’m not feeling particularly anything but I could say I have a general contentedness, that is until something gets me mad. 😊

To say a life coach, a spiritual guru or a wise man (or wise woman) no longer experience bad feelings or makes mistakes is ridiculous. A life coach encourages you to be fully human and express your feelings without any hesitation but then we also call on you towards action, to take a step towards the place that you want to be and to learn about yourself in the process. We show you how to value yourself and to appreciate your own worth in this world. It’s not about pushing you up on the social ladder or getting approval from others. It’s about you being you and expressing and accepting yourself exactly as you are and improving anything that you would like to improve by creating action. Your satisfaction level in life can only be measured by you.

You will make mistakes. You can be wise and human at the same time. There is no wellness cure, and if people try to sell that to you, they are lying.

We do the best we can. When you have a life coach, you have someone in your corner, pointing out your gifts, seeing the true you, cheering you on, and helping you create goals that will bring you lifetime satisfaction.

We are all gifted. We all have a purpose. We are all wiser than we think we are. We are human first, and life can be challenging. But we as life coaches, we take those challenges, we chalk them up as training and we move on and kick some ass. And then we show you how to do it too.